How to dress up in a hockey uniform?

1. Take off all your clothes, except for the underwear.
2. Put on flimsy cotton sportswear, desirably – long sleeve.
3. Take a look at everything that belongs to the uniform and try to find something that looks like KNEE PADS. Put them on (pad for left knee differs from pad for the right knee).
4. Put on SOCKS SUSPENDERS (how romantic!). Put on gaiters and attach them to the suspenders.
5. Now it’s time to find and put on PADDED PANTS.
6. At last, let’s put on SKATES and let’s fasten them accurately and tightly.
7. Now let’s put on SHOULDER PADS.
8. ELBOW PADS (mind that the right differs from the left).
9. Ask your friends for assistance in pulling on HOCKEY JERSEY SHIRT over everything that you already have on you.
10. Put on HELMET. The helmet shouldn’t turn round at slightest movement and it shouldn’t be too tight. You should find appropriate helmet.
11. Now - GLOVES.
12. Last, but not least – STICK.
13. Let’s play hockey!!!